I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
