This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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