somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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