I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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