windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
