Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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