My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
