I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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