I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
