3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
