idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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