I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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