Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
