we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
well you can't waste a boner
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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