why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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