Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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