people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
