sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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