Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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