Already got asked if we're dating
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
