I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
