dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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