i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
