I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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