I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
