How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you didnt know i had herpes?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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