The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do vagina's smell?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
