So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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