just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
