i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
