What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
sarcasm needs its own font
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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