I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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