I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
