ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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