Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
two words: eviction party
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
