i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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