I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
