I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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