Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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