I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
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