we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
