you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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