Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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