Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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