i just wanna soil my oats bro
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
