I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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