did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize