i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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