I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
