We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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