So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize