we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
