I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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