your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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