You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
my liver is dry heaving
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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