my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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