whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
