i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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