Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
