Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
As shirtless as possible
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
