yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
