Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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