I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
