is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
