im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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