I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
