I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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