1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
