I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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