i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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